We're like a lot better than the average bears
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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