I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
