that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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