you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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