I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize