i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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