I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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