If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
