what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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