my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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