Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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