Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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