I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
