yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
