The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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