btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
