then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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