I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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