It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
