So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
