He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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