How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
