Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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  (619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0
  Replies (24) Good night (4452) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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  (617): Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life http://tfl.nu/020c
  Replies (11) Good night (1213) Bad night (4410)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.

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  (978): benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are. http://tfl.nu/ifpr
  Replies (4) Good night (5034) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

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  (864): idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro http://tfl.nu/28z8
  Replies (8) Good night (3937) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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  (949): The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses. http://tfl.nu/cf7g
  Replies (25) Good night (3747) Bad night (2267)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?

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  (770): He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well? http://tfl.nu/i7ab
  Replies (10) Good night (1927) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
  Replies (10) Good night (1808) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.

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  (775): you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is. http://tfl.nu/hp0z
  Replies (6) Good night (1436) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  This could be the definition of living by yourself

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  (281): No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower (1-281): This could be the definition of living by yourself http://tfl.nu/oh63
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie

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  (719): That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie http://tfl.nu/8hsx
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?

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  (916): Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick? http://tfl.nu/xs5h
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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  (503): I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now (503): Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea http://tfl.nu/ll9z
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made

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  (412): Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made http://tfl.nu/r5g2
  Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder

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  (586): This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder http://tfl.nu/va12
  Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (397)

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