Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I sprained my soul last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
