I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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