So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
