i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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