it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
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