If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
