I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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