The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
