Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
