If i come over, it means nothing
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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