Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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