the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
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i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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