I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
