So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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