wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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