I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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