I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this will be a night to untag.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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