Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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