He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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