you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
