so let's talk penis.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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