a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
