Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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