Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
