wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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