I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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