Those balls look pretty dangerous.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
