im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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