question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
