I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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