Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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