peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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