my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
