I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
