OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
