I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
