She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
