pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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