I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize