i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How many fucks given?
0.12846
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
