Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
