I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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