i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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