I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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