I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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