so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YAS. BRING CRAB.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
