I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
